What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

Daily writing prompt
What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

Things I carry with me

            That old black cast-iron stove, wood-fired, that baked the best ever breads and cakes and warmed the bungalow on cold, summer mornings. The Welsh dresser with its age-blackened rails that displayed the plates, and cups, and saucers. The old tin cans that ferried the water from the one tap located at the end of the field. Full and wholesome, its weight still weighs me down as I carry it in my dreams. The Elsan toilet from the shed by the hedge and the shovels that appeared, every so often, as if by magic, as my uncle braved the evening shadows to dig a hole on the opposite side of the field, as far from the bungalow as possible.

            The outhouse at the end of the garden. The steps down to the coal cellar where they went when the sirens sounded, to sleep in the make-shift air raid shelter, along with the rats and mice that scurried from the candles. The corrugated iron work shop in the garden where my uncle built his model ships, the Half-Penny Galleon and the Nonesuch. The broken razor blades I used to carve my own planes from Keil Kraft Kits, Hurricanes and Spitfires, an SE5, and once, a Bristol Bulldog. Twisted and warped, they winged their ways into nobody’s skies, though once we built a paper kite that flew far away in a powerful wind and got tangled in a tree. The greenhouse from which I stole countless tomatoes, red and green. Kilvey Hill towering above the window ledge where the little ones sat when there were more guests than chairs in the kitchen. The old bombed buildings across the street. The bullet holes in the front of the house where the Messerschmidt strafed us.

            The old men spitting up coal dust from shrivelled lungs. The widows who took in lodgers and overnight travelers. The BRS lorries, parked overnight, that littered the street. The steep climb upwards into those lorries. The burrowing under dirty tarpaulins to explore the heavy loads, and many other things. The untouchable, forbidden drawer where the rent money waited for the rent collector’s visit. The old lady, five houses down who, when the shops were shut, sold warm Dandelion & Burdock and Orange pop for an extra penny a bottle.  The vicious, snub-faced Pekinese that yapped fierce defiance from the fortress of her lap. The unemployed soccer referee who on Saturdays walked five miles to the match and five miles back just to save the bus fare, his only financial reward. My father’s shadowy childhood. His first pair of shoes, bought at five years old, so he wouldn’t go barefoot to school. 

            Wet cement moulded onto the garden wall, then filled with empty bottles to be smashed when the cement set solid. The coal shed where the coal man delivered the coal: cobbledy-cobbledy, down the hole. The outside toilet with its nails and squares torn from yesterday’s newspaper. The lamp-lighter who lit the lamps every evening as the sun went down. The arrival of electricity. The old blackout curtains that shut in the light and shut out the night. The hand rolled fabric sausage that lay on the floor by the door and kept the heat of the coal fire in the kitchen. The kitchen itself with its great wooden chair drawn up by the fire. That chair: the only material possession I still have from that distant past.

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

Daily writing prompt
Describe your life in an alternate universe.

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

Ávila: A Brief Tour of the City

            Ávila is both a city and a province. The city may be new (walls constructed in 1058), but the province, like the city site, is old; it is older by far than the Romans, much older than the Christians, much, much older than the Muslims and Jews who once lived here. Blessed with water, it has a constant series of fountains and wells, some sealed, some flowing still, in streets and squares. More: it is a secret city, one of earth’s sacred places. The Celts built here, and here they worshipped their wild, pantheistic gods of tree, stone and sky.

            I came here by chance, drawn by the saint’s name as if I were a kite being reeled in from the skies. Often, in former days, I hurried past the city, heading to Santander in search of sun and sand with Ávila’s walls a blur as the train sped past. Then, when I finally had time to stop, I stayed and found sanctuary. There is a silence here, even among the voices; a truth that is built in the stone, not with the stone: a belief in water and rock that transcends Christianity and all the wonders of cloister and cathedral.

            This sequence of poems starts outside the walls of Ávila, in the surrounding countryside. Here there are mountains and valleys, bulls and cattle graze, mist hangs high on steep passes, and the tinkle of bells is heard among dry rocks as the tame goats scramble and the wild sheep climb ever higher. Outside the walls there are valleys and rivers, Roman roads, trade routes which have survived when the names of the tribes are long forgotten, their buildings tumbled down, their wives and children perished. Sometimes the land is magnificent; sometimes it is harsh and dry, the skeletons of older dwellings, their bones picked clean, now structured into newer homes. In places, a harsh, dry countryside holds a single tree, shaped like a parasol, with cattle standing in its shade. Dry stone walls march across the land, dividing field from field, tying the countryside down like a parcel. It is a land of boulders and saints, fought over for thousands of years with each stronghold tumbled down by the latest victors, then built again.

            When I came to the city, I was frightened by the mass of stone. I needed air and light and so I escaped the walls and discovered la ronda antigua. Here, overlooking el Valle del Amblés, I sat and studied the airfield from where, according to local legend, Von Richthofen’s planes took off in 1937 to bomb Guernica. I sat beneath the walls, in the sunshine, on the benches and watched the day’s cycle: the sun moving from left to right, the shadows changing position, the benches moving into and out of the sun, and everywhere, the swifts, knitting the sky with their wings, baptising the tourists from on high, and twittering in and out of the stonework. Above them all, the glory of storks, their wings motionless, hanging like kites just beneath the clouds, or soaring suddenly, borne away on the breeze. Beneath the wall walk, red roofs, grey stone, slates and tiles, cobbled walkways, fields turning into streets and houses as the builders build and the city grows outwards.

            Inside the walls, there are people and slowly but surely I came to know them. I knew the  barmen first, then the waiters and the serving girls, then the shop-keepers and the pharmacist, the policeman on duty, the workmen pulling up the cobbles. Then I met the painters and the poets, the artists who (re)create, again and again, the images on which I feed. I talked to the men and women who walk their dogs and follow them with tissues so the streets will not be stained. I praise the cocker spaniels, the great Dane, the wrinkled Shar-pei who guards the second floor balcony and woofs down at the world, the golden retriever, the English pointer, well-bred dogs, all of them. They are the finest that money can buy, and most are immaculately groomed. Finally, I make friends among the teachers and the walkers, the sitters and the families, the people who visit the same squares as I do, who shop in the same shops, eat and drink at the same restaurants and bars, the citizens who see what I see and take an interest in what I find so entrancing.

            Just outside the walls, but extending through them and into the inner city is La Plaza Grande, also known as La Plaza de la Santa. This area has been rebuilt recently and new buildings stand beside the old. This vast and open space is the training ground for young footballers who play soccer back and forth between the benches as their elders sit and sip coffee or meet for conversation on the benches around the square. During the World Cup, the youngsters act out their roles as super stars, galácticos as they are called by the followers of  Real Madrid. The players dribble, run, defend, attack, centre, corner and shoot at goal. They weep, cry out, appeal, fall to the ground, dive and roll on the stones, banking their shots and passes off trees and walls. Older men, formal and distinguished, sometimes stop to catch a stray ball then burst suddenly into a trot, demonstrate a pass curved with the outside of the foot, shedding twenty years as they do so, smiling, until called back to reality by the stern voices of the wives. Meanwhile,  the old women, arms linked, move through the players and their game, like ships in full sail skirting a harbour full of flotillas of smaller craft as they sail on, undisturbed, in their feminine armadas.

            The cathedral in Ávila is unique. It forms part of the fortifications and is built in and up as part of the city wall. Above the cathedral, on its pointed towers and battlements, a colony of storks looks down at the inferior world of human beings. Once upon a time, the storks returned to their nests  in the spring, raised their families, and departed at the end of July or the beginning of August, to avoid winter’s cold that creeps down from the hills to besiege the city. Now, however, the storks have found the garbage dump outside the city and forage there, long after their departure time, some of them remaining all winter as the world gets warmer. Tourists in the cathedral square strain their necks, looking upwards towards the storks who reign above them. Hawks fly in and out among the nests, young chicks duck down, and pigeons seek the protection of nook and cranny as the predators fly by.

Surrounding the cathedral is the cathedral square, La Plaza de la Catedral. Entering the cathedral itself, you must rub the polished toe of San Pedro, and make a wish. It usually comes true, but take care, the wise men say, with what you wish: fulfillment of the wish does not always bring the joys expected. Exiting from the cathedral, the Calle de la Vida y la Muerte is the narrow street on the left. Here, beneath a rugged, wooden cross, duels were fought, the winner returning home or fleeing into exile, the loser lying in the dust, staining the cobbles with his blood. On either side of the cathedral door, chained lions, and the wild and leafy green men of the woods stand guard.

            Down the hill from the cathedral, past the temple of Nuestra Señora de las Nieves with its wood and metal seat, is the Plaza de la Constitución which changes names according to the age and political commitment of the local inhabitants. Some call it the Plaza de la Victoria; others, the Plaza del Ayuntamiento; still others, the Plaza del Mercado Chico, or simply, El Mercado Chico. According to some, this was the central square of a Roman legionary camp; according to others, the Romans never lived here. Either way, on Fridays, a street market holds sway. Fruit and vegetables, pots and pans, soap and perfume, and, above all, the marvelous spices of the region and beyond: saffron and the various styles of pimentón de la Vera. Here, close to the Puerta del Rastro and the Sanctuario de la Santa where St. Theresa was born, is the emotional heart of the city. Here, within the four walls which surround the square, one can hear the buzz of El Zumbo, the great bell that deeply hums when it is gently rubbed. Here and in its near vicinity are small bars and restaurants, pavement cafes, pedestrian walkways, gift shops, clothing stores, cobbled streets, shop windows for window shopping, art galleries, tiny ultramarinos with their collections of wines, foods, fruit, bread, and cheeses, patisseries, florists, newsagents, churches, and schools, everything that makes the hub of a city strum with life.

            Next door to the Mercado Chico is La Plaza del Medio Celemín, also known as La Plaza de Zurraquín. Here, in one small corner of this smallest of squares, which is actually shaped rather like a trapezium, nestles the Hostal-Bar-Restaurante known as El Rincón. The Rincón is typical of all that is good in that older Spain which survives from my childhood memories: bars laden with tapas,  the richness of tortillas, the tang of queso manchego, tablas ibéricas with chorizo, salchichas, jabugo, and jamón serrano, and beyond that, a variety of tapas and tid-bits: percebes, langostinas, gambas, caracoles de tierra y mar, pulpo, calamares, sepias, and meats of all sorts: costillas, riñones, and callos. But El Rincón is not just a symbol of food. It is a genuine neighbourhood bar filled with local people who run the full gambit from knowledgeable, wise, witty, and well bred to bad-tempered (when the national team loses), ecstatic (when it or the local team wins), disappointed (when someone from Ávila gives ground in the Tour de France or La Vuelta de España), tolerant of friends and intolerant, as people usually are, of idiots and fools. It is a bar of breakfasts and lunches, of mid-morning coffees, of suppers and tapas, of cigarette smoke and lottery tickets, of gambling machines and cigarette machines, and of people with voices so loud that the cares of the day are all drowned out. 

            But El Rincón is much more than a bar. At night, when the guests retire to bed, the rooms of El Rincón are filled with dreams. These dreams knock at the windows and clamour at the doors. Sometimes the city’s secular saints appear, visitors from the past and guests from the future. These include the spirits of the place, the spirits that the Celts worshipped three thousand years ago. They are there in the wells, in the water supply, flitting between the walls, and settling on the head of the bed. The water of the wells attracts them, for, more than anything, they are spirits of water and rock who speak in dreams and talk of wisdom’s ways: how to sit in silence,  how to watch moss grow, how to feel the stone’s blood circulating far beneath its surface, how to sense the hands of the men who carved the stones, how to sit and look in the mirror and watch one’s hair turn white, one’s mind turn in on itself, and time walk slowly by. Not the time on the hands of the clocks, but the centuries of slowness that go into the making of seekers and saints, people like you and me, who drop in for a moment and are caught for a lifetime; people like you and me who turn off the television and listen to the sound of rain and snow, of water flowing, of the slow acceleration of dust as it sparkles in sunlight and gradually grinds down granite.

            Listen carefully. Sometimes at night you can hear the waters slowly rising and filling the well, that deep well within us, where dwells the wellness of spiritual being, the growth of spirit, the slow search, inwards always inwards, for the light that lives at the centre and fills us, slowly, like the gathering water, with love of living and joy of life. This is the love that can watch the sun move round the world outside and inside the walls; this is the joy that can be taken from a falling leaf, from a stork rising into the sky, from birdsong, from cattle grazing under a tree, from the silent dance of leaves, from the sticks of the stork’s nest, from children playing, from the voices that wake us from the very dreams they weave for us as we daydream or sleep.

30 things that make me happy!

Daily writing prompt
List 30 things that make you happy.

List 30 things that make you happy.

The first thirty dots I add to a dotty painting. As we all know, pointillisme drives one dotty. So, start counting each little dotty – when you get to thirty you can stoppy – and you’ll be as happy as a poppy. I do hope poppies are happy. I know poo-pees are. They wag their tales when they are hippy, happy, hoppy.

Oh yes, counting the ten toes on my feet when I have a double-trouble bubble bath. Then counting the ten toes on my grandson’s feet – that makes twenty. Then counting the toes on my other grandson’s feet. That makes thirty. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, hard to see those toes when the bubble baths bubble. Pinch each bubble, make them pop. When you get to thirty you can stop. Okay, okay, I hear you laugh – and that’s the joy of a bubble bath.

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Daily writing prompt
Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Creativity. I was told, a long time ago, that genius is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. When I started creating – poetry, mainly – I waited for the muse to arrive and lamented when she didn’t. Then I tried to force her to visit me – and that didn’t work either. Then, in 1985, I started a journal. I wrote in it every day that year and, as I wrote, I realized that most of what I was writing was gibberish. But – and it’s a big but – a few literary gems gleamed out from the rubbish. The question then became – how to recognize them. The answer to that has come more easily, the longer I have worked at writing. It’s not the muse who needs persuasion, it’s the artistic eye and mind that need to be trained so that they can see the creative art in the surrounding world.

Now, after 38 years of regular journaling – and I try not to miss a day – I can distinguish easily between art and rubbish. My poetic creativity, often via a streak of surrealism, has wormed its way from poetry, into poetic prose (short stories and novels), and from there into my style of quasi-surrealist, quasi-expressionist paintings.

Where is the joy? The joy lies first, in the work itself, the contemplation of the blank page, then the slow tidal flow of words that fill the empty spaces. Then comes the joy of recognition, followed by the joy of selection, followed by the joy of polishing, and eventually, the joy of publication. The same is true of painting. Here, the empty canvas, like a beach with the tide coming in, fills up with color and shape and, like Matisse, I try to make meaning out of those colors and shapes. Am I great artist? Of course I’m not. I’m a dibbler and a dabbler, unknown and unrecognized, but joyous in my joy of creating something that will stand, for a little while, against time’s rising tide.

Qué será

Qué será

Peace in the Peace Park,
here on the headland,
where cool grass slopes
down to the water’s edge.

Geese have nested close by
and gifted us with goslings.
Golden balls of fluff, they walk
on the land right now,
but soon will take to the water.

A thin, yellow line, they will
paddle behind their parents,
webbed feet invisible
beneath the water’s flow.

And I, in the metal coffin
of my over-heated car,
sit and watch them, envying
their freedom of movement,
waiting for whatever will come.

My beloved draws near.
I sense as much as see her,
as I covet her strong steps,
the ageless sway of her body.

Alas, I am growing old,
and not with any grace,
but fighting it all the way,
and qué será, será
is all that I can say.

Rebirth

Rebirth

“El mundo nace
cuando dos se besan.”
Octavio Paz

A new world is born
when two people kiss.
The hummingbird sips
at the hollyhock’s lips.
Bee enters the blossom
and, sated, comes out.
A butterfly perches,
flutters its wings.
The sun enters a cloud:
radiance is born.
Silver linings
morph to gold.
The sun’s needle stitches
the world together.
Oh to be a part of Eden,
Paradise born anew,
in the moment when
lip meets lip and the tongue
is a twister, touching down.
Two hearts a-whirl,
their world aflame.
Their world reshaped,
new shapes now born.
Wild flowers swaying
in an age-old dance.
Life’s journey renewed,
not always by chance.

Was today typical?

Daily writing prompt
Was today typical?

Was today typical?

So, I Googled the meaning of typical and here are some of the synonyms that appeared. Standard, normal, stock, representative, usual, conventional, characteristic, regular, orthodox. Following the meanings offered, yes, today was typical. Dark at midnight, dawn breaking about 5:30 AM, full sun by 7:30 AM, noon – dead on 12 o’clock, as usual. And so it goes on. The weather may change, but the basic structure of the days, although also cyclical, growing longer then shorter, in terms of daylight hours, does not change much. Therefore, yes, by this definition, it was a typical day. But was it?

For creative people, each day is different and each moment, minute, hour of each day is different. Creatives listen, observe, feel, touch, delve beneath the surfaces of things, and see things in a lateral multiplicity that means everything is evolving, changing, growing, decaying. Creative people look and listen (with or without mother). They imitate, and from that imitation they create and re-create. And creativity moves way beyond the standard, normal, stock, representative, usual, conventional, characteristic, regular, and orthodox. If it doesn’t, it’s not creative, it’s just standard, normal, stock, representative, usual, conventional, characteristic, regular, orthodox.

Was today typical? Well, it’s not over yet. But up until now, it has only been typical in terms of its intimate creative typicality. The light has changed with the changing sky and clouds. Rain fell, and changed the tones of the colors around. The light changed, but so did the scents that arose from the warm earth with its carpet of grass and the tarmac and concrete, its heat suddenly cooled. The ground glistened, spider-webs sparkled, birds sang when the sun returned, flowers tossed their heads, in slightly different ways from yesterday, when the wind was warm. Now, damp and shining, their dance-steps and rhythms also changed. Now the world is wet. The trees are waving their fans and have caused a slight wind to arise and rustle their leaves. This day is full of creative magic – but only for those who have ears to hear and eyes to see. For too many people, alas, yes, this is, after all, just another typical, humdrum, boring old day. As W. H. Davies wrote: “What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?” Creatives make that time – and they live among the blessed.

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

Daily writing prompt
If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

Wrong question – because I wouldn’t go anywhere. Now, I’ll ask the right question: If I won two free plane tickets, what would I do with them? That I can answer.

I am no longer a willing traveler. Even a trip into town to go shopping is too much some days. So, I wouldn’t use them, but I would look for someone who could. But before that, a question – are these single tickets – you go there and have to stay there or else pay your own way home? Or are they return tickets, there and back and again, or as they say in Spain, ida y vuelta? If they are the former, I have a couple of people in mind that I would bundle off to the other end of the planet and leave them there, stranded. If they were return tickets, then other options are family.

My Canadian family: a free trip home during these difficult financial times would be excellent. I guess that would be my first choice. But I have family in faraway place, with strange sounding names, and maybe my Australian family would enjoy a trip to Canada to visit me. Or else a trip back home to Wales where there’s always a welcome for the prodigals that return. And what if the family weren’t interested?

Then I would advertise the tickets for a local family that needed free travel for health purposes or family visits. If nobody came forward, I would raffle them or auction them, and give the proceeds to one of my favorite charities, the women’s shelter or the local food bank.

And there you have it. Meanwhile, courtesy of Moo, my favorite artist, the little green man goes sailing through the air in the painting above, flying into the sunset, and enjoying every minute of it.

What’s the story behind your nickname?

Daily writing prompt
What’s the story behind your nickname?

What’s the story behind your nickname?

A long time ago, while Franco was still alive, we lived in Spain, where I was researching my doctoral thesis. Our two bedroom apartment did not have washing facilities for dirty clothes other than a hand wash in the basin and a pegging out on a clothes line outside the bathroom window, that gave on to an inner courtyard. A very good friend suggested we take our dirty washing to her local laundry. The custom in Spain, at that time, was to print in black ink as much of the name of the customer on each item of clothing as was necessary for the clothes to be recognized.

We handed our dirty washing over early one morning and the receptionist told us it would be ready later that afternoon. When we returned, a neatly wrapped parcel of brownish-pink paper, all tied up with colored string, awaited us. We paid our laundry bill, picked up the parcel, and carried it home.

When we got there Clare opened the parcel. Everything smelt clean and the clothes, hers and mine, positively glowed. They were all very carefully folded. Clare picked up the top item, a pair of my Y-front underpants, held it up, and started to laugh. When I asked her why she was laughing, she pointed to the three black letters that distinguished our clothing from anybody else’s in that city – MOO. “Oh Moo,!” she said. And I have been called Moo ever since. And that s why my paintings bear that name – Moo. Oh yes, the above painting is a self-portrait of Moo. Look closely and you may just be able to see him in there. Clare, by the way, is now known, within our family, as Mrs. Moo.

PS – Please don’t tell this story to anyone else. We wouldn’t want everyone to know about it.

What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

Covid changed the world and my outlook on the world. Since the first rumors in 2019, I cut my own hair and stopped eating out. I avoided crowds, left home as little as possible, wore a mask everywhere, and maintained as much distance as possible between myself and other people. I stopped inviting people around to the house, and, as a result, we have hardly had a visit or a visitor in the last four years. We got regular shots and boosters. So far, with those precautions and a little bit of luck, we have avoided Covid.

My health care deteriorated during the Covid period. I had very few visits to my GP’s office, and most business, like prescription renewal, was done over the phone. Consultations were by telephone as well. I missed out on the regular blood tests that my urologist / oncologist had been scheduling for me, after a bout with prostate cancer. These picked up again in late 2021, and were resumed in 2022 and 2023. Things seem to be moving well currently. Thank heavens.

I interpret well-being as my state of mind, rather than my state of body. I would say that my well-being suffered from my lack of human contact, although I have slowly developed a series of online support groups. In this way, I was able to continue my writing, for example, in Zoom sessions. I also missed my family visits. I no longer travel well, and due to Covid restrictions, I did not see my daughter or my granddaughter from 2019 to 2022. Clearly, we all missed the family closeness and we were all affected. However, we are used to isolation from family. Boarding schools, travel abroad in the summer, emigration to Canada, saw our family connections broken. That said, the advent of social media, Skype, Zoom, Messenger, texting, free phone calls, have all lessened the miles between us and maintained a contact that we never had, post migration, with our parents and grandparents, and extended family. The isolation and loneliness have been hard. They are hard upon all ageing, isolated people. We have suffered less than most.

As for strategies, I really have only three: 1. to adapt 2. to survive 3. to create beauty via my writing and my painting. Painting, prose, and poetry – these I can share with my friends. Vita brevis, ars longa – life is short, but art endures. Pax amorque – peace and love.