In Praise of the Other
A Thursday Thought
I have lived with the Other.
He treated me well.
To him I was the Other,
yet he fed me when I hungered,
gave water when I ran dry.
I fell ill and he cared for me,
nursed me back to health.
He taught me his language,
culture, history, and skills.
He loved me, never forced me
to forget myself and become
something I could never be.
He made me what I am today:
a believer in humanity,
not man’s inhumanity to man.
AWOL
I never dreamed I would one day share the Red Room at KIRA with a portrait on the wall of Roger Writing in the Red Room at KIRA. It is a great honor to be here again and to be the first alumnus (June, 2017) invited back for a second stay (May-June, 2021). I will do my best to ensure that this stay is a successful one. I am honored to be the first returnee. I most certainly have no wish to be the last.
My desk is in its usual place by the window. To the right, on the wall above me, hangs my portrait. This is new, especially for me. The view from my working window has changed. The auditorium was just being constructed when I was here first (June, 2017). My companions from that first cohort of resident artists are here with me, in spirit. Ann, Carlos, Elise, and Ruby, the one who painted my likeness. My hope is that they too may sometime return.
The Tower on Minister’s Island is still visible above the trees. It has long kept me company and long may it continue to do so. Across the bay, behind the red tree on the left, Magic Rock and Holt’s Point can almost be seen. What beauty. What joy. Sitting here, at my desk, I review twelve days absent without leave, AWOL from Social Media and the Blog. Those Tiz-Woz days are hopefully over now. The bone scan was negative and showed no metastases. So that is a huge relief, though there may yet be some complications. There will be further testing, ad possibly some more medication. That lies in the future. This is the present. The sun is shining. I am here among friends. All’s right with the world.
Tiz-Woz Days
Well, it’s been a couple of Tiz-Woz days sitting here, looking out of the window, waiting for the results of the bone scans I underwent a week or so ago. I should be getting the results next Monday, on my father’s birthday. He would have been 111 years old and I always celebrate his birthday by wearing either his watch or the one he gave me for my own 21st birthday, way back when.
This is a very special photo. It shows my 21st birthday watch together with the bracelet, with my name on it, that my grand-daughter made for me when she was four years old. Four generations of memories sitting on my wrist. I think she put my nick-name (nom de plume) on the bracelet in case I forget who I am. She knows it can happen in old age. The four dots are to remind me that she was four when she made this present for me.
Allan Hudson very kindly interviewed Jane and I for his blog: the South Branch Scribbler.
Here’s today’s article.
This is my first interview with Allan.
http://allanhudson.blogspot.com/2016/02/guest-author-roger-moore-story-plus-4q.html
This is the second one. Today’s is my third appearance on his blog.
http://allanhudson.blogspot.com/2016/02/guest-author-roger-moore-story-plus-4q.html
Thank you Allan, for all you hard work on behalf of New Brunswick writers.
And here’s the latest book to be added to my collection. Thank you Dr. Karunesh Agarwal.
Click on the link below to peruse my books for sale.
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Little Boy Lost
I’ll never forget, years ago,
standing in the snow,
looking through a window,
seeing a friend’s family
gathered inside by the fire.
Shadows danced as the children
decorated their Christmas tree:
laughter and warmth and joy,
and me outside in the snowy street,
walking past, on my way home,
an only child destined
to be alone in my lonely room.
I also recall empty rooms,
cold corridors, stark loss,
and the sorrow of surviving
on my own.
So, I created my own family
and filled my mind with
boys and girls, siblings,
people I could see and touch,
a family to which I could belong.
“You promised.”
“I know I did.”
“Then take me with you. I’m only small. I’ll fit in a pocket.”
“All right: go and pack.”
“What shall I pack?”
“Don’t ask me. I don’t know. I’ve never travelled with a teddy bear before.”
The conference is a strange one. There are no women present and only one person of color. Nobody speaks to him. When he reads, I am the only one to hear his paper. It’s actually quite good.
I move from that session to the next one. The man sitting beside me opens his briefcase and tells me to look inside. I do. He has two pistols in there.
“Are you packing?” he asks me.
“No,” I reply. “But I packed to come here. So did my guardian.”
“Guardian?” the man raises his eyebrows. “That’s cool: a body guard, eh? You need to pack round here. But a body guard is great. Where are you going tonight?”
I tell him.
“That’s a dangerous area of town. You’d both better be packing if you go down there.”
“Thanks for the advice,” I nod to him. “Are you going to the reception?”
“Yup,” he smiles. “I’ll see you there. And don’t forget to pack.”
“Well, Basil,” I see when I get back to the hotel room. “It looks like you’ll be going out with me tonight.”
“That’s great,” little Basil gives me a big teddy bear smile.
When I get to the reception, my friend from earlier is there. He nods at me and smiles at the bulge on the left side of my jacket.
“Good to see you’re packing. Can I have a look?”
“Sure,” I say and open my coat. Basil sits up, opens his eyes, and gives him a little wave. The man’s mouth falls open. He stares at me, wild-eyed.
“Ain’t nobody gonna tackle a mad man who’s carrying a teddy bear,” I say. “Now that’s really packing.”
He walks to the bar, orders a double-double and swallows it, Ker-Splosh.
“That’s telling him,” says Basil, snuggling back down in the warm beneath my armpit. “Hi-ho, Silver: let’s go out and get those gangsters.”
Comment: For Tiffany who understands the important things on the brighter side of life.
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Golden Angel
He stands beneath guardian trees,
his saffron garments glossed with gold.
Hands cupped, body bent,
he softly swells as he dips
beneath sun and rain.
He speaks to me:
wild prophet from an ancestral book
that I believed in when I was a child,
but no longer read or understand.
I try to interpret the aroma of his lips,
his slow, small growth of gesture.
His winged words are traps
tripping my tongue, clipping my wings,
preventing me from flight.
Shape-shifter, she changes before my eyes
and takes on her earthly disguise.
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Man from Merthyr
Memory loss punched holes in your head
and let in the dark, instead of the light.
Constellations faded from your sight,
erased by the arch-angel’s coal-dust wing.
“I’m shrinking,” you said, the last time I saw you,
you, who had been taller, were now smaller than me.
Tonight, when the harvest moon shines bright
and drowns the stars in its sea of light,
I will sit by my window and watch for your soul
as it rockets its way to eternity.
My eyes will be dry. I do not want pink runnels
running down this coal-miner’s unwashed face.
I’ll sing you this lullaby, to help you sleep.
“When the coal comes from the Rhondda
down the Merthyr-Taff Vale line,
when the coal comes from the Rhondda
I’ll be there,” with you, shoulder to shoulder.
Farewell, my friend, sleep safe, sleep deep.
Earth to Earthlings
“Get out and about,” she told me.
Take off your socks and shoes.
Walk barefoot on the earth and grass:
twin pleasures, you can choose.”
I took two canes, one in each hand,
and left the house to walk the land.
In the garden I took off my shoes
to walk barefoot on the lawn;
when grass sprang up between my toes
I was instantly reborn.
I stood in the shade of the crab apple tree
and let leaf and flower spill over me.
Sunlight took away my frown
and freckled a smile on my face.
I was blessed again with hope and light;
earth and grass filled me with grace
When white blossoms filtered down
they gifted me a flowery crown.
I stooped to reach my shoes
and carried them home in my hand,
maintaining as long as I could
my contact with this magic land.
Chance Encounter
(Overheard at the bar)
“Meeting her, unexpected,
with another man,
and me, with another woman,
all four of us looking
bemused by what the other
had chosen in each
other’s absence
— suspense and silence —
then the halted, faltering
politeness of a nod,
a handshake, ships
passing in the night,
signals no longer recognized.”
Striations
There are striations in my heart, so deep, a lizard could lie there, unseen, and wait for tomorrow’s sun. Timeless, the worm at the apple’s core waiting for its world to end. Seculae seculorum: the centuries rushing headlong. Matins: wide-eyed this owl hooting in the face of day. Somewhere, I remember a table spread for two. Breakfast. An open door. “Where are you going, dear?” Something bright has fled the world. The sun unfurls shadows. The blood whirls stars around the body. “It has gone.” she said. “The magic. I no longer tremble at your touch.” The silver birch wades at dawn’s bright edge. Somewhere, tight lips, a blaze of anger, a challenge spat in the wind’s taut face. High-pitched the rabbit’s grief in its silver snare. The midnight moon deep in a trance. If only I could kick away this death’s head, this sow’s bladder, this full moon drifting high in a cloudless sky.
Comment: a fitting ending for the month of February: ubi sunt? Where have all those days gone: Ou sont les neiges d’antan?
