Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Daily writing prompt
Describe one habit that brings you joy.
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Describe one habit that brings you joy.

Creativity. I was told, a long time ago, that genius is 99% perspiration and 1% inspiration. When I started creating – poetry, mainly – I waited for the muse to arrive and lamented when she didn’t. Then I tried to force her to visit me – and that didn’t work either. Then, in 1985, I started a journal. I wrote in it every day that year and, as I wrote, I realized that most of what I was writing was gibberish. But – and it’s a big but – a few literary gems gleamed out from the rubbish. The question then became – how to recognize them. The answer to that has come more easily, the longer I have worked at writing. It’s not the muse who needs persuasion, it’s the artistic eye and mind that need to be trained so that they can see the creative art in the surrounding world.

Now, after 38 years of regular journaling – and I try not to miss a day – I can distinguish easily between art and rubbish. My poetic creativity, often via a streak of surrealism, has wormed its way from poetry, into poetic prose (short stories and novels), and from there into my style of quasi-surrealist, quasi-expressionist paintings.

Where is the joy? The joy lies first, in the work itself, the contemplation of the blank page, then the slow tidal flow of words that fill the empty spaces. Then comes the joy of recognition, followed by the joy of selection, followed by the joy of polishing, and eventually, the joy of publication. The same is true of painting. Here, the empty canvas, like a beach with the tide coming in, fills up with color and shape and, like Matisse, I try to make meaning out of those colors and shapes. Am I great artist? Of course I’m not. I’m a dibbler and a dabbler, unknown and unrecognized, but joyous in my joy of creating something that will stand, for a little while, against time’s rising tide.

Qué será

Qué será

Peace in the Peace Park,
here on the headland,
where cool grass slopes
down to the water’s edge.

Geese have nested close by
and gifted us with goslings.
Golden balls of fluff, they walk
on the land right now,
but soon will take to the water.

A thin, yellow line, they will
paddle behind their parents,
webbed feet invisible
beneath the water’s flow.

And I, in the metal coffin
of my over-heated car,
sit and watch them, envying
their freedom of movement,
waiting for whatever will come.

My beloved draws near.
I sense as much as see her,
as I covet her strong steps,
the ageless sway of her body.

Alas, I am growing old,
and not with any grace,
but fighting it all the way,
and qué será, será
is all that I can say.

Rebirth

Rebirth

“El mundo nace
cuando dos se besan.”
Octavio Paz

A new world is born
when two people kiss.
The hummingbird sips
at the hollyhock’s lips.
Bee enters the blossom
and, sated, comes out.
A butterfly perches,
flutters its wings.
The sun enters a cloud:
radiance is born.
Silver linings
morph to gold.
The sun’s needle stitches
the world together.
Oh to be a part of Eden,
Paradise born anew,
in the moment when
lip meets lip and the tongue
is a twister, touching down.
Two hearts a-whirl,
their world aflame.
Their world reshaped,
new shapes now born.
Wild flowers swaying
in an age-old dance.
Life’s journey renewed,
not always by chance.

Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.

Daily writing prompt
Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.
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Write about a random act of kindness you’ve done for someone.

Sir Alex Ferguson, one of soccer’s greatest managers, once said that it wasn’t the victories he remembered, but the defeats. So it is with my own coaching career – it’s the losses I recall. Same thing with random acts of kindness. There have been many, too many to count. I will not paper my e-walls with glowing memories of past kindnesses. But what about those random acts of kindness I failed to do? Here’s one of them.

            Crave More: I hate those words. I always choose a cart with the shop’s name on the handle. I can handle that. I can’t handle a shopping cart that screams Crave More at me every time I stoop down and place another item in the wire grid. If stores were honest, they would inscribe their shopping carts with a sign that said Think More, Crave Less, and Save Your Money. I bet that would quickly cut into profits.

            Anyway, there I was, in La-La-Land, leaning on my cart, still half asleep, when this ghost drifted towards me. “Help me,” it said. “I’m hungry. I need food.” I woke up from my dream, looked at the ghost, tall, skeletal thin, cavernous eyes and cheekbones protruding, gaps in the teeth, grey face drawn and lined. The single word “Sorry” came automatically to my lips. Then I felt shame. I looked at him again. “I only carry plastic.” The excuse limped heavily across the air between us. I saw something in his eyes, I knew not what, and I turned away.

            Then, as I walked away, I added 100 lb of muscle to the scarecrow frame. Took forty years away. Filled his body with joy and pride, and remembered how he played when I used to coach him, hard and fast, but true. I ran my hand through the card index of former players that I had coached. I knew their moves, and attributes, the way they played the game, their stronger / weaker side, their playing strengths, their weaknesses. I remembered him holding up the Champion’s Cup. But I couldn’t remember his name.

            I pushed the cart all over the store in a frantic search for him. I went to the ATM and took out cash. I could hand it to him. I could tell him he had dropped it. I went through a thousand scenes. I could invite him to the snack bar. I could tell him to buy what he needed and follow me to the check out lane where I would add his purchases to my cart. I looked everywhere. He was nowhere to be seen.

            A single opportunity. One chance. That’s all we get. Miss it, and we blow the game. Take it, and we win the Championship and hold up the Cup.

How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

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How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?
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How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

Well, that would depend on why they couldn’t see me. “Those who have eyes, but cannot see.” Many have stood beside or before me, looked into my eyes, as I looked into theirs, and never saw me. “The most difficult role in the play is that of the fool,” said Don Quixote, “for he who would play the fool must never be one. So many people saw me deliberately playing the role of the fool and forgot the above quote. They also forgot what Antonio Machado wrote: “The eye you see is not an eye because you see it, it is an eye because it sees you.” And there you have it: why would I bother describing myself to people of that ilk, so stupid and blind with their own limited wisdom, that they couldn’t see me anyway.

Keenan’s Well, by Seamus Heaney, is a wonderful poem. It tells us about Rosie Keenan, his blind from birth neighbor, who played the piano and sang all day. She let them touch her books, like books of wallpaper, and feel the letters of braille by means of which she was able to read. They allowed her to touch their faces with her oh-so-sensitive fingers, and she said she saw them, as well as knowing them by their voices. When he read her a poem about Keenan’s well, she told him that she, blind from birth, ‘could see the sun shining at the bottom of it now.”

How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you? I wouldn’t waste my time and energy trying to do so.

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

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What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?
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What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

What traditions have you not kept that your parents had?

To the best of my knowledge, my parents only had three traditions. I have not kept any of them.

Tradition 1: They took two weeks holiday every year in August. Both were hard-working, and that holiday was always a precious break from work. Being employed in academia and a life-long inhabitant of the Ivory Tower, I have not had holidays forced upon me by a 9 to 5 work schedule. Research and creativity do not function according to a 9 to 5 clock. I realize how fortunate I am, and I give thanks every day for my intellectual and creative freedom.

Tradition 2: They fought like cats and dogs at every opportunity. It was so bad that, at one stage, in my innocence, I thought that cats were females and that dogs were males, and that was why they opened instant hostilities whenever they saw each other. Luckily, I have no siblings to challenge this view of events, and my parents are long gone, so they won’t be worried either.

Tradition 3: My maternal grandmother’s birthday was just before Christmas. On her birthday, every year when I was a child, my mother would come home early from work, but my father wouldn’t. He often didn’t come home at all. Office parties. My mother would hang around the house for a while, consoling herself. Then she would get angry, tell me to pack a bag, pack one herself, and call a taxi. This would take us to the railway station or the bus station, and off we would go to grandma’s house to celebrate her birthday. My father, looking sheepish and hang-dog, would arrive late Christmas Eve, or early Christmas morning. On Boxing Day, the gloves came off, and they were at it again. That’s why it’s called Boxing Day. Well, that’s what I thought anyway.

So there you have it. Three traditions that my parents had and that I have never kept.

Was today typical?

Daily writing prompt
Was today typical?
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Was today typical?

So, I Googled the meaning of typical and here are some of the synonyms that appeared. Standard, normal, stock, representative, usual, conventional, characteristic, regular, orthodox. Following the meanings offered, yes, today was typical. Dark at midnight, dawn breaking about 5:30 AM, full sun by 7:30 AM, noon – dead on 12 o’clock, as usual. And so it goes on. The weather may change, but the basic structure of the days, although also cyclical, growing longer then shorter, in terms of daylight hours, does not change much. Therefore, yes, by this definition, it was a typical day. But was it?

For creative people, each day is different and each moment, minute, hour of each day is different. Creatives listen, observe, feel, touch, delve beneath the surfaces of things, and see things in a lateral multiplicity that means everything is evolving, changing, growing, decaying. Creative people look and listen (with or without mother). They imitate, and from that imitation they create and re-create. And creativity moves way beyond the standard, normal, stock, representative, usual, conventional, characteristic, regular, and orthodox. If it doesn’t, it’s not creative, it’s just standard, normal, stock, representative, usual, conventional, characteristic, regular, orthodox.

Was today typical? Well, it’s not over yet. But up until now, it has only been typical in terms of its intimate creative typicality. The light has changed with the changing sky and clouds. Rain fell, and changed the tones of the colors around. The light changed, but so did the scents that arose from the warm earth with its carpet of grass and the tarmac and concrete, its heat suddenly cooled. The ground glistened, spider-webs sparkled, birds sang when the sun returned, flowers tossed their heads, in slightly different ways from yesterday, when the wind was warm. Now, damp and shining, their dance-steps and rhythms also changed. Now the world is wet. The trees are waving their fans and have caused a slight wind to arise and rustle their leaves. This day is full of creative magic – but only for those who have ears to hear and eyes to see. For too many people, alas, yes, this is, after all, just another typical, humdrum, boring old day. As W. H. Davies wrote: “What is this life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?” Creatives make that time – and they live among the blessed.

How would you describe yourself to someone?

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How would you describe yourself to someone?
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How would you describe yourself to someone?

I wouldn’t. Why should I? I might give them a self-portrait, or a painting of me, by my friend Moo. Or I might give them a poem or a book of poems or short stories. That way they could see me for themselves or read about me and make a decision about me that way.

“Ah, would some power the giftie gie us, to see our selves as others see us.” Robbie Burns, if I remember correctly. For those who don’t follow the Scottish accent – the giftie gie us = give us the gift. I don’t have that gift. What I see in the mirror when I shave is not the same as what people see when they look at me with their own eyes or, with their own ears and minds when they read my words or hear me read.

Meanwhile – I invite you to read this. There’s a little bit of me in there somewhere. If you can find it before it floats away down the plug-hole.

Self-Portrait

I smell. I whiff. I gloriously stink.
My arms, my feet, my crotch, reek with beauty.
This is me. I am still alive. I’m rank.
The time has come, the Walrus said, to take
a shower. I strip. I weigh. I obey.

Hot water streams. Bathroom steams up. I draw
faces on grey glass, smiling, glum. Soft soap
works its miracle turning Japanese
nylon into a rough body cloth that
rubs and cajoles all putrid dirt away.

Butterfly from its chrysalis, I step
from the shower, sniff with caution, and stench
no more. I am clean. I no longer pong. 
My body has been taken over by
perfumes no longer mine. Who am I now?

I am no more myself. I am no more
my own gorgeous underarm muscular
ripeness. I have left my odor circling
in the soap suds and drifting down the drain. 
What a pain. It will take me a week or 
more to start smelling like myself again.

If you could bring back one dinosaur, which one would it be?

Daily writing prompt
If you could bring back one dinosaur, which one would it be?
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If you could bring back one dinosaur, which one would it be?

Probably my maternal grandfather. He was always a bit of a fossil, ostrich-like, with his head buried in the past. A great-story teller, he spun a web of intrigue about things that happened in his youth, like when he ran away to sea, age 12, Swansea in the old days, and his time in the trenches during WWI. I would climb up the back of his chair while he was sleeping, and blow on the bald spot at the back of his head to wake him up. Then I would climb onto his lap and say, “Grandpa, tell me a story.” And he would.

My friend Moo painted a picture of the two of us together when I was younger. That’s him, on the left. I am the smaller one on the right. He would walk with me all over Swansea Sands, telling me stories as we walked. “This is where the medicine man would pitch his stall,” he’d say. Then he would tell me about the fraudulent way the doctor sold his bottles of cough mix. A miner, with no voice would approach from the crowd. One sip of the magic potion and he’d be singing hymns and arias, voice fully restored. “Bribed, of course,” Grandpa would tell me.

Next to the snake medicine stall, a travelling dentist would pitch a stage with a small brass band and his chair. Patients would handover their three penny coins, the band would start to play, the patient would open his mouth, the dentist would wield his pliers, and out would come the tooth. Then doctor and patient would dance to the band music until the patient stopped screaming. “No anesthetic back then, see,” Grandpa would chuckle.

Oh yes, that’s the dinosaur I’d bring back. And I’d record his voice, and write down, in full detail, every story, each tall, or short, tale he told me.