Crossing the Bridge

Crossing the Bridge

When I got to there, I couldn’t cross it.
I sat in the coffee shop, over-looking
the River Severn and ordered a cup
of cafeteria tea. Time limped slowly by
and I let my untasted tea grow cold.

What was there for me on the other side?
Empty stood the house where I was born.
Sold, the bungalow, built by my father
and his father, the summer home I loved
so much. Lost the kitchens I remembered
so well, kitchens in which I had come of age.

I tried to picture the ghosts of Christmases
past walking the logs that flamed in the fire.
Ghosts? They inhabit my mind, share my life,
dwell in my days, dream with me most nights
when a golden moon sails past my window,
and silver stars fill my dreams with light.

Underworld

Underworld

In the secret world of my goldfish bowl
I speak in bubbles but only hear silence.

My fish-eye lens bends the pendulum
of the grandfather clock. Westminster chimes,

inaudible, do not intrude. Noiseless are time’s
ripples across the surface of my submarine sphere.

I feel, rather than hear, my troubled heart beat.
The foreboding sounds of distant voices leave

me untouched and becalmed. Rocked in love’s
cradle, these amniotic waters nourish and soothe.

In my beginning will be my end. One day I’ll return
to the beaches of my childhood, where the sun

always shines, and the moon path over the waves
is a welcoming walkway leading to the underworld.

Skype or Zoom

Skype or Zoom

I sit and watch the grandfather clock,
listening to every tick and tock.

So slow, the sullen pendulum swings
as time limps by on leaden wings.

When they arrive, the house will fill
with youthful joy and much goodwill.

Age will flee for a week or two,
then we’ll be alone, just me and you.

Watching the telly, watching the clock,
counting each tick and every tock.

We will be lonely, left here alone,
waiting for them to telephone.

The very best thing to lighten the gloom
is to see them again on Skype and Zoom.

What brings you peace?

Daily writing prompt
What brings you peace?

Septets for the End of Time

I

Crystal Liturgy

Here, in the abyss,
where song-birds pluck their notes
and send them, feather-light,
floating through the air,
here, you’ll find no vale of tears,
no fears of shadow-hawks,
for all blackness is abandoned
in the interests of sunlight and song.

Here, the crystal liturgy surges,
upwards from the rejoicing heart,
ever upwards, into the realms of light,
where color and sound alike
brim over with the joy that, yes,
brings release to head and heart.

Here, seven-stringed rainbows reign,
the everlasting harp is tuned and plucked,
and an eternity of music cements
the foundations of earth and sky.

Here, the master musician conducts
his celestial choir, their voices rising,
higher and higher, until they reach
the highest sphere, and song and voice
inspire, then expire, passing from our eyes
and ears into unbounded realms of light.

Here, the seven trumpets will sound
their furious dance, a dance that will announce
the end of this singer, the end of his song,
but never the end of song itself.

What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

Daily writing prompt
What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

Things I carry with me

            That old black cast-iron stove, wood-fired, that baked the best ever breads and cakes and warmed the bungalow on cold, summer mornings. The Welsh dresser with its age-blackened rails that displayed the plates, and cups, and saucers. The old tin cans that ferried the water from the one tap located at the end of the field. Full and wholesome, its weight still weighs me down as I carry it in my dreams. The Elsan toilet from the shed by the hedge and the shovels that appeared, every so often, as if by magic, as my uncle braved the evening shadows to dig a hole on the opposite side of the field, as far from the bungalow as possible.

            The outhouse at the end of the garden. The steps down to the coal cellar where they went when the sirens sounded, to sleep in the make-shift air raid shelter, along with the rats and mice that scurried from the candles. The corrugated iron work shop in the garden where my uncle built his model ships, the Half-Penny Galleon and the Nonesuch. The broken razor blades I used to carve my own planes from Keil Kraft Kits, Hurricanes and Spitfires, an SE5, and once, a Bristol Bulldog. Twisted and warped, they winged their ways into nobody’s skies, though once we built a paper kite that flew far away in a powerful wind and got tangled in a tree. The greenhouse from which I stole countless tomatoes, red and green. Kilvey Hill towering above the window ledge where the little ones sat when there were more guests than chairs in the kitchen. The old bombed buildings across the street. The bullet holes in the front of the house where the Messerschmidt strafed us.

            The old men spitting up coal dust from shrivelled lungs. The widows who took in lodgers and overnight travelers. The BRS lorries, parked overnight, that littered the street. The steep climb upwards into those lorries. The burrowing under dirty tarpaulins to explore the heavy loads, and many other things. The untouchable, forbidden drawer where the rent money waited for the rent collector’s visit. The old lady, five houses down who, when the shops were shut, sold warm Dandelion & Burdock and Orange pop for an extra penny a bottle.  The vicious, snub-faced Pekinese that yapped fierce defiance from the fortress of her lap. The unemployed soccer referee who on Saturdays walked five miles to the match and five miles back just to save the bus fare, his only financial reward. My father’s shadowy childhood. His first pair of shoes, bought at five years old, so he wouldn’t go barefoot to school. 

            Wet cement moulded onto the garden wall, then filled with empty bottles to be smashed when the cement set solid. The coal shed where the coal man delivered the coal: cobbledy-cobbledy, down the hole. The outside toilet with its nails and squares torn from yesterday’s newspaper. The lamp-lighter who lit the lamps every evening as the sun went down. The arrival of electricity. The old blackout curtains that shut in the light and shut out the night. The hand rolled fabric sausage that lay on the floor by the door and kept the heat of the coal fire in the kitchen. The kitchen itself with its great wooden chair drawn up by the fire. That chair: the only material possession I still have from that distant past.

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

Daily writing prompt
What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

Looking around me and seeing the way that the world I know is so totally divided, and knowing that words and ideas will bounce off people’s backs like rain off a duck’s back, I do not expect my blog to make any changes, big or small, to the world. Would I like it to? Yes, I would. But whether it will or not is a different question.

My blog consists of several elements. Let us start with the poetry. If I can reach out and touch somebody with one or more of my poems, then I will be very happy. This is, after all, a poetry blog. And part of that blog is a continuing discourse on creative writing and poetic creativity. If one of my articles / posts on creativity can help one person, just one, to improve their creativity, then I will feel justified with all the hard work and thought I have put into the posts.

I also write about Discourse Analysis, the meaning of words and texts. In our current, doubt-ridden world, it is often the loudest voice that carries the most weight, and he wildest ideas that get the most attention. I always remember that still, small voice that comes after the fire and the thunder: “What doest thou here, Elijah?” Alas, I am not an Elijah, nor am I a prophet, nor am I out to make a profit. But if someone, somewhere, recognizes my voice as a still, small, voice speaking a little bit of sense in this wilderness of wild words, then I will be satisfied. My creative prose comes next. It is mostly composed of flash fiction, memoirs, and short stories. If I can bring tears or laughter to the eyes and the heart of just one reader, then again I will feel that I have done my work.

Then there is my art work. I have always been told that I am useless at art. Mind you, I think those people came from the same school of thought that told me, as a teenager, that I would never go to university – except on a train. However, I discovered Matisse and his words ‘making meaning out of color and shape’. Then came Dali – ‘I don’t know what it means, but I know it means something.’ Out of those words have come cartoons and paintings, some funny, some sad, and all of them unique. Again, if one reader / viewer finds joy in them, then I will be happy. And if my own work persuades one battered, belittled artist that he or she can paint, create, make meaning out of color and shape, then I will have achieved the minor miracle of helping to change someone’s life for the better.

As for these prompts, I have only just started to be prompted into doing something. Why? I am not sure why. I just think that I have a different view of the world from most people. If I can offer that alternative view of reality, a joyous reality, I might add, to one, or maybe even two people, then once more, I can feel that yes, my blog has made one, small change to the world around me. And I cannot ask for more than that.

Meanwhile, I think of the studies I did on the Spanish Civil War (1936-1939). The right kept moving further right. The left kept moving further left. The middle ground where discourse, creative thinking, and debate can flourish, slowly vanished. Then, when positions and thoughts became so deeply entrenched that there was no room for mainoeuvre / manouver / maneuver, whichever way you wish to spell it, then shooting broke out and people went to war and found, all too often, their often-violent deaths. I would not wish that fate on any person, government or country. If just one person would read that powerful and bitter history, and learn from it, then the world might be a better place.

To talk to one person at a time, that’s what I want from my blog. Then I want that person to talk to another person, and the third one to a fourth, and so on and so forth, until we have established, one person at a time, a linked chain that may, just may, be long enough and strong enough to help lighten the darkness and head off the dangers into which we seem to be steering.

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

Daily writing prompt
Describe your life in an alternate universe.

Describe your life in an alternate universe.

Ávila: A Brief Tour of the City

            Ávila is both a city and a province. The city may be new (walls constructed in 1058), but the province, like the city site, is old; it is older by far than the Romans, much older than the Christians, much, much older than the Muslims and Jews who once lived here. Blessed with water, it has a constant series of fountains and wells, some sealed, some flowing still, in streets and squares. More: it is a secret city, one of earth’s sacred places. The Celts built here, and here they worshipped their wild, pantheistic gods of tree, stone and sky.

            I came here by chance, drawn by the saint’s name as if I were a kite being reeled in from the skies. Often, in former days, I hurried past the city, heading to Santander in search of sun and sand with Ávila’s walls a blur as the train sped past. Then, when I finally had time to stop, I stayed and found sanctuary. There is a silence here, even among the voices; a truth that is built in the stone, not with the stone: a belief in water and rock that transcends Christianity and all the wonders of cloister and cathedral.

            This sequence of poems starts outside the walls of Ávila, in the surrounding countryside. Here there are mountains and valleys, bulls and cattle graze, mist hangs high on steep passes, and the tinkle of bells is heard among dry rocks as the tame goats scramble and the wild sheep climb ever higher. Outside the walls there are valleys and rivers, Roman roads, trade routes which have survived when the names of the tribes are long forgotten, their buildings tumbled down, their wives and children perished. Sometimes the land is magnificent; sometimes it is harsh and dry, the skeletons of older dwellings, their bones picked clean, now structured into newer homes. In places, a harsh, dry countryside holds a single tree, shaped like a parasol, with cattle standing in its shade. Dry stone walls march across the land, dividing field from field, tying the countryside down like a parcel. It is a land of boulders and saints, fought over for thousands of years with each stronghold tumbled down by the latest victors, then built again.

            When I came to the city, I was frightened by the mass of stone. I needed air and light and so I escaped the walls and discovered la ronda antigua. Here, overlooking el Valle del Amblés, I sat and studied the airfield from where, according to local legend, Von Richthofen’s planes took off in 1937 to bomb Guernica. I sat beneath the walls, in the sunshine, on the benches and watched the day’s cycle: the sun moving from left to right, the shadows changing position, the benches moving into and out of the sun, and everywhere, the swifts, knitting the sky with their wings, baptising the tourists from on high, and twittering in and out of the stonework. Above them all, the glory of storks, their wings motionless, hanging like kites just beneath the clouds, or soaring suddenly, borne away on the breeze. Beneath the wall walk, red roofs, grey stone, slates and tiles, cobbled walkways, fields turning into streets and houses as the builders build and the city grows outwards.

            Inside the walls, there are people and slowly but surely I came to know them. I knew the  barmen first, then the waiters and the serving girls, then the shop-keepers and the pharmacist, the policeman on duty, the workmen pulling up the cobbles. Then I met the painters and the poets, the artists who (re)create, again and again, the images on which I feed. I talked to the men and women who walk their dogs and follow them with tissues so the streets will not be stained. I praise the cocker spaniels, the great Dane, the wrinkled Shar-pei who guards the second floor balcony and woofs down at the world, the golden retriever, the English pointer, well-bred dogs, all of them. They are the finest that money can buy, and most are immaculately groomed. Finally, I make friends among the teachers and the walkers, the sitters and the families, the people who visit the same squares as I do, who shop in the same shops, eat and drink at the same restaurants and bars, the citizens who see what I see and take an interest in what I find so entrancing.

            Just outside the walls, but extending through them and into the inner city is La Plaza Grande, also known as La Plaza de la Santa. This area has been rebuilt recently and new buildings stand beside the old. This vast and open space is the training ground for young footballers who play soccer back and forth between the benches as their elders sit and sip coffee or meet for conversation on the benches around the square. During the World Cup, the youngsters act out their roles as super stars, galácticos as they are called by the followers of  Real Madrid. The players dribble, run, defend, attack, centre, corner and shoot at goal. They weep, cry out, appeal, fall to the ground, dive and roll on the stones, banking their shots and passes off trees and walls. Older men, formal and distinguished, sometimes stop to catch a stray ball then burst suddenly into a trot, demonstrate a pass curved with the outside of the foot, shedding twenty years as they do so, smiling, until called back to reality by the stern voices of the wives. Meanwhile,  the old women, arms linked, move through the players and their game, like ships in full sail skirting a harbour full of flotillas of smaller craft as they sail on, undisturbed, in their feminine armadas.

            The cathedral in Ávila is unique. It forms part of the fortifications and is built in and up as part of the city wall. Above the cathedral, on its pointed towers and battlements, a colony of storks looks down at the inferior world of human beings. Once upon a time, the storks returned to their nests  in the spring, raised their families, and departed at the end of July or the beginning of August, to avoid winter’s cold that creeps down from the hills to besiege the city. Now, however, the storks have found the garbage dump outside the city and forage there, long after their departure time, some of them remaining all winter as the world gets warmer. Tourists in the cathedral square strain their necks, looking upwards towards the storks who reign above them. Hawks fly in and out among the nests, young chicks duck down, and pigeons seek the protection of nook and cranny as the predators fly by.

Surrounding the cathedral is the cathedral square, La Plaza de la Catedral. Entering the cathedral itself, you must rub the polished toe of San Pedro, and make a wish. It usually comes true, but take care, the wise men say, with what you wish: fulfillment of the wish does not always bring the joys expected. Exiting from the cathedral, the Calle de la Vida y la Muerte is the narrow street on the left. Here, beneath a rugged, wooden cross, duels were fought, the winner returning home or fleeing into exile, the loser lying in the dust, staining the cobbles with his blood. On either side of the cathedral door, chained lions, and the wild and leafy green men of the woods stand guard.

            Down the hill from the cathedral, past the temple of Nuestra Señora de las Nieves with its wood and metal seat, is the Plaza de la Constitución which changes names according to the age and political commitment of the local inhabitants. Some call it the Plaza de la Victoria; others, the Plaza del Ayuntamiento; still others, the Plaza del Mercado Chico, or simply, El Mercado Chico. According to some, this was the central square of a Roman legionary camp; according to others, the Romans never lived here. Either way, on Fridays, a street market holds sway. Fruit and vegetables, pots and pans, soap and perfume, and, above all, the marvelous spices of the region and beyond: saffron and the various styles of pimentón de la Vera. Here, close to the Puerta del Rastro and the Sanctuario de la Santa where St. Theresa was born, is the emotional heart of the city. Here, within the four walls which surround the square, one can hear the buzz of El Zumbo, the great bell that deeply hums when it is gently rubbed. Here and in its near vicinity are small bars and restaurants, pavement cafes, pedestrian walkways, gift shops, clothing stores, cobbled streets, shop windows for window shopping, art galleries, tiny ultramarinos with their collections of wines, foods, fruit, bread, and cheeses, patisseries, florists, newsagents, churches, and schools, everything that makes the hub of a city strum with life.

            Next door to the Mercado Chico is La Plaza del Medio Celemín, also known as La Plaza de Zurraquín. Here, in one small corner of this smallest of squares, which is actually shaped rather like a trapezium, nestles the Hostal-Bar-Restaurante known as El Rincón. The Rincón is typical of all that is good in that older Spain which survives from my childhood memories: bars laden with tapas,  the richness of tortillas, the tang of queso manchego, tablas ibéricas with chorizo, salchichas, jabugo, and jamón serrano, and beyond that, a variety of tapas and tid-bits: percebes, langostinas, gambas, caracoles de tierra y mar, pulpo, calamares, sepias, and meats of all sorts: costillas, riñones, and callos. But El Rincón is not just a symbol of food. It is a genuine neighbourhood bar filled with local people who run the full gambit from knowledgeable, wise, witty, and well bred to bad-tempered (when the national team loses), ecstatic (when it or the local team wins), disappointed (when someone from Ávila gives ground in the Tour de France or La Vuelta de España), tolerant of friends and intolerant, as people usually are, of idiots and fools. It is a bar of breakfasts and lunches, of mid-morning coffees, of suppers and tapas, of cigarette smoke and lottery tickets, of gambling machines and cigarette machines, and of people with voices so loud that the cares of the day are all drowned out. 

            But El Rincón is much more than a bar. At night, when the guests retire to bed, the rooms of El Rincón are filled with dreams. These dreams knock at the windows and clamour at the doors. Sometimes the city’s secular saints appear, visitors from the past and guests from the future. These include the spirits of the place, the spirits that the Celts worshipped three thousand years ago. They are there in the wells, in the water supply, flitting between the walls, and settling on the head of the bed. The water of the wells attracts them, for, more than anything, they are spirits of water and rock who speak in dreams and talk of wisdom’s ways: how to sit in silence,  how to watch moss grow, how to feel the stone’s blood circulating far beneath its surface, how to sense the hands of the men who carved the stones, how to sit and look in the mirror and watch one’s hair turn white, one’s mind turn in on itself, and time walk slowly by. Not the time on the hands of the clocks, but the centuries of slowness that go into the making of seekers and saints, people like you and me, who drop in for a moment and are caught for a lifetime; people like you and me who turn off the television and listen to the sound of rain and snow, of water flowing, of the slow acceleration of dust as it sparkles in sunlight and gradually grinds down granite.

            Listen carefully. Sometimes at night you can hear the waters slowly rising and filling the well, that deep well within us, where dwells the wellness of spiritual being, the growth of spirit, the slow search, inwards always inwards, for the light that lives at the centre and fills us, slowly, like the gathering water, with love of living and joy of life. This is the love that can watch the sun move round the world outside and inside the walls; this is the joy that can be taken from a falling leaf, from a stork rising into the sky, from birdsong, from cattle grazing under a tree, from the silent dance of leaves, from the sticks of the stork’s nest, from children playing, from the voices that wake us from the very dreams they weave for us as we daydream or sleep.

Revisions

Revisions

Very little in the creative life turns our perfect first time through. That’s why we revise – revision is necessary. Here is my revision of Heartbreaking. Click here for the original version. Can you spot the difference between the two?

Heartbreaking

How many have broken their hearts,
reading what I have written, as I have
broken mine, reading what others wrote?

My words reach out, naked, stripped
of false trappings, fake images,
my flesh and blood damp on the page.

Who knows where my words will land,
on fertile ground, on desert sand, or will
they lie on dry, stony paths, infertile?

So many people now scorn living words,
preferring those dull, dry, three-word chants,
that hypnotize as fists are raised and clenched.

Beauty, love, life coffined in a tiny box,
outside of which, they can no longer think.

This is my revision of Rebirth – click here for the original version.

Rebirth

“El mundo nace
cuando dos se besan.”
Octavio Paz

A new world is born
when two people kiss.
The hummingbird sips
at the hollyhock’s lips.
Bee enters the blossom
and, sated, comes out.
A butterfly perches,
flutters its wings.

The sun enters a cloud:
radiance is born.
Silver linings
morph to gold.
The sun’s needle stitches
the world together.

Oh to be a part of Eden,
Paradise born anew,
in the moment when
lip meets lip and the tongue
is a twister, touching down.

Two hearts in a whirl,
their world aflame,
new shapes are born.
Wild flowers swaying
in an age-old dance.
Life’s journey renewed,
not always by chance.

Fascinating things revisions, as you can see from my revisions to the painting which opens this post. Now you can spot the differences

30 things that make me happy!

Daily writing prompt
List 30 things that make you happy.

List 30 things that make you happy.

The first thirty dots I add to a dotty painting. As we all know, pointillisme drives one dotty. So, start counting each little dotty – when you get to thirty you can stoppy – and you’ll be as happy as a poppy. I do hope poppies are happy. I know poo-pees are. They wag their tales when they are hippy, happy, hoppy.

Oh yes, counting the ten toes on my feet when I have a double-trouble bubble bath. Then counting the ten toes on my grandson’s feet – that makes twenty. Then counting the toes on my other grandson’s feet. That makes thirty. Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble, hard to see those toes when the bubble baths bubble. Pinch each bubble, make them pop. When you get to thirty you can stop. Okay, okay, I hear you laugh – and that’s the joy of a bubble bath.

Apologia

Apologia
pro vita mea

The fairground’s distorting mirrors distort.
I change as I walk past one and then another.

Rage, rage against that hump-backed shape
that looks back at me from the bottle-glass.

Magic: eye of a newt, eye of a toad, cat’s
eyes at night lighting the road to bed.

Bedlam all around me. Absurd this world,
gone carnival mad in the blink of an eye.

I need a white stick to walk through
this fog that clings to my clay-bound soul.

This wine I drink, these thoughts I think,
life’s fountain pen soon runs out of ink.

Watch the tides as they ebb and they flow.
When your time runs out, pack up, and go.

Comment: My friend Moo did himself proud with the above painting. What is it? I asked him. Dunno was his reply. I have shown it to several friends and speculation is rife: the dancer and the dance, dancer and diver, a blur of three figures, headless mermaid (I love that one). And yes, life is absurd (Albert Camus), a carnival (Bakhtin) in which knowledge is power and civilization is mad (Foucault).

Originality and imitation – how many genuinely original ideas are there? Very few. And the same goes for poetry – original poems are very rare. Most of our ideas come from elsewhere, even if we do not know it. The title of the above poem comes from Petrarch. It’s structure is traditional – a sonnet. Its ideas are borrowed from Camus, Bakhtin, Foucault. And yet, shuffle the cards (Cervantes) throw the dice (Mallarme’) and this poem and this post have both achieved a kind of originality and uniqueness by linking disparate ideas in a new unity.