First Snow
Lying in bed
on a snowy morning
with the first flakes
fast falling,
can you follow
the rag-tag-and-bobtail
drift of snow thoughts?
Filled with sparrow, siskin,
chickadee and finch,
the now leafless tree
stands outlined in the yard:
black skeleton,
white wind-drift.
A scarecrow
with many arms,
it braces against
these feathered weights
that settle
like colored snow.
Warning: raw poem.
I rarely let any of my writing out while it is still raw. These words will undoubtedly change, the snow will settle, the birds will fly away, a crow and a blue jay will startle the smaller species, the sun may come out, the wind may get up, and so may I. In addition, the poem, like the birds in the tree may or may not survive. The tree itself chose to surrender to a family of yellow-bellied sap-suckers and they changed into a chess board of small square holes that leaked the tree’s life blood throughout the summer. Perhaps the tree won’t survive. Well, I know it won’t survive for ever, but perhaps its life will be even shorter, curtailed by those ravenous little beaks.
Whatever: I have taken a risk by sharing early, and we will see how you, my readers and fellow bloggers, rise to the bait. Perhaps you will encourage me to place more early verse online. Perhaps not. Hopefully, you’ll click and make some comments: we’ll soon see.
rogermoorepoet 
I vote for raw…not that there aren’t benefits to working a poem but what I like about the blog world is that you can write and interact without saying ‘this is my best version’. It just is —and you, a seasoned writer, write excellent pieces.
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Thanks, Janice. A seasoned writer in seasonable mode. Within 24 hour of writing this poem, we lost power for 42 hours at sub-zero temperatures (Celsius). We survived, as did the birds. A bit shivery, and I read many books by candlelight … as for the blog interaction … it is so good … and so supportive … thank you for being here …
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Yes there are certain stories that need to get out right away. That would have been a chilly experience to say the least. After her first major blackout in Montreal my mother got a backup generator… I think about that sometimes…
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Raw is good, Roger! I love it just how it is. 🙂
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Thanks, Meg. More to come on that topic.
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Excellent!
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Well you probably know my thoughts as I subscribe to the surrealist school of automatism (not too dogmatically however). It’s grand the way it is. Immediacy is important.
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Octavio Paz subscribed to “polished immediacy” — a step beyond the Surrealists, as was Dali in so many ways. Think your Surrealism out carefully!
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It’s something I go back and forth…sometimes I feel I write better the less I plan
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So much depends on what you are liking and how you like to write. I find the journal helps me sort my ideas out. The Blog helps me rethink them for an audience. Revising the journal when preparing a book or submitting creative work leads to a deeper writing, polishing, and understanding. Taking this work and revisiting it and then editing it for “final” publication is the last step. Each of these steps involves a slightly different process. But when in full flow, go with the flow and don’t take your pen off the page. So much can be done later: creativity is in the now. Now you have it, now you don’t. But never, never waste those marvelous moments when inspiration is with you.
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Thank you Roger I hope the inspiration doesn’t desert me
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It won’t. Trust me. The problem is it changes and wavers and wanders and we don’t always recognize it. We have to keep an open mind and accept it when it comes in any of its many forms. If we open our arms, it will embrace us in return.
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Reblogged this on Julaina Kleist-Corwin and commented:
I enjoyed this “raw poem” as Roger described it.
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I posted on your page. Thank you for the re-blog and so glad you liked the poem. So glad to see you here.
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It is beautiful as is, but I love to see work develop. If you make changes, will you include the original so we can see your skills in action?
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Thanks, Tanya. I was thinking I might add some of the prose below: it would make an interesting second verse. And yes, if I do something with it, I’ll do a before and after and we’ll see how it goes. Great idea. Thank you. About an inch down now and snow falling wet and fast. Drove home slowly but safely. No problems with snow tires on. Best wishes.
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To you as well, my dear friend.😊
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Raw you say, but sounds wonderful… love the way you described and compared the barren tree of winter to its past…
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Thank you so much. Perhaps raw is good, as Jan says below (fresh is best). We have snow forecast for tonight. We are prepared for winter: so we’ll see how it goes. Best wishes: and oh, those poor birds!
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I agree with Jan, Fresh is best… keep warm… loved the snow, but don’t miss it much! 🙂 Love being in Arizona though…yup, poor birds… need a bird feeder for the winter I guess..
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Sometimes fresh is best. In a poem this simple, editing is only rearranging the pieces, not necessarily to advantage.
-j
http://www.thestoneist.com
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I wondered who would cast the first stone: so glad it’s you! I love the photo of the birds in the tree in the snow. Took it maybe two years ago. All huddled and feathered up, poor things. Waiting for Clare to shake out the bird seed and keep them warm.
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