Thursday Thoughts: Divorce


Thursday Thoughts
19 July 2018
[Divorce, Division, Dissent)

Sometimes you wake up in the morning and you realize that you can do no more. So what is it about family split-ups, the pain and ugliness of a disputed divorce, the glue coming unstuck in an already unstable marriage,  a financial settlement that satisfies nobody and splits and impoverishes both sides of a divide? And how do you bridge that divide when you are friends with father, mother, children and the wounds are so deep that everyone of them wants out, whatever the costs and whatever it takes? And what is it about the deliberate wounding of each by the others, the permanent scars that will never heal over, never be stitched over, no matter how hard a third party tries? And what right does a third party (fourth party, fifth party, sixth party) have to step in and try to force issues? And what is it about lawyers, when too many guests gather around the Thanksgiving turkey and the knives are out for everyone to take the choicest cuts and what’s left now but a skeletal carcass, no flesh on the bones, and the guests all hungry still and their empty bellies rumbling for more, more, more … and this isn’t Oliver Twist, “Please sir, may I have some more?” though everyone is heading for the poor house and the beadles are also gathering by bedlam’s door with their handcarts and dogs and the full enforcement of a blue-serge law made to twist and torment, though I have never understood the law, especially when it is left in the hands of lawyers, for “the law, dear sir, is an ass”, a striped ass at that, black and white like a zebra, though grey and costly in the areas that matter most. And what is there to do but rant away about the injustice of it all, the size of the checks and now you must check-out the food banks, the soup kitchens, the meals on wheels, the charity eating and boarding houses, because there’s no more roof over the head and the house is sold and the incomes are split and the children are more-or-less cared for, though rather less than more, and the dog is turfed from his dog house and the pussy cat booted from her feathered bed. Rant, I say, rant and rage away, rage, rage against the dying of friendship and the death of love, because that’s all you can do in this blood sport where even the spectators are spattered with the refined frenzy of friends turned into fiends and foes, and this is a protest, a rant against love that doesn’t stand the course of time, against families that break up, against a society that breaks them up, drives wedges and scissors between people once bound by the puppet strings of love, against relationships that can no longer continue, against the rattling of dead white bones in empty cupboards where the skeletons dance their way into legal daylight and the spectators call for more, more, more, more blood, more money, more blood money, and the engagement diamond is a blood diamond now, a tarnished garnet, and where is the Little Old Lady of Threadneedle Street, that spire inspired needle that will stitch their world back together, and stitch you back together when you have been shocked out of your own ruby-sweet rose-tinted world and torn into little bits in their oh-so-bitter one, the biters bitten and those bitten biting back in return, a new world this world of snapping turtles, turtles standing on the back of turtles, and turtle after turtle all the way down until this carnival world wears its dead clown mask and turns turtle in its turn …

I dreamed all of this last night and woke up this morning and realized … I can do no more.

6 thoughts on “Thursday Thoughts: Divorce

  1. Hello Roger! Wow, this is a mighty rant. It is an awful thing to watch when someone you love goes through a breakup. We’ve experienced with a few couples over the years. It’s difficult for the bystanders, too. Inevitably we are forced to choose sides or discreetly maintain separate friendships with both parties. I hope this was cathartic!

    Liked by 1 person

    • The rant was indeed cathartic, so much so that I have just revised it. I must do more ranting. And also some mailing: Clare went to Ottawa and returned and in my efforts to survive on my own I did so little other than look after the cat and myself. However, happy days are here again. As for my various separating friends, the dropped jigsaw puzzle of their happy marriage pieces have been jumbled up into a thousand little pieces and everyone is struggling to pocket as many as they can. Luckily, they are all long-distance friends, so this is happening in Wales, New Zealand, and Mexico, not close at hand. It’s still tense though and upsetting and merits a rant!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Whew! When you have something to say, it gets said! I enjoyed your train-of-thought approach, although it did leave me breathless. (I think I read it in the manner you wish me to, although it’s unclear to me if there are other ways). The subject matter is worrying, yet the words, to me, are satisfying. Cheers, Chuck

    Liked by 1 person

    • I do like my rants and I love writing them and getting it all out of the system. I should do a Roger’s Rant more regularly. I am in touch with at least three divorcing couples and it is a sorry, bitter process that I wouldn’t wish on anyone. Love turned sour is not good. Alas, they have to rant somewhere and I appear to be the one chosen to be ranted upon.


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