Thursday Thoughts: Secrets

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Thursday Thoughts
Secrets
12 April 2018

Thursday Thoughts: there are none. This morning, I read the online newspapers, I played a game of chess against the computer, I played two games of solitaire, also online, I checked my dwindling financial resources, and then I sat down to write.

The piece that I wrote was so personal, so deep, so full of darkness, that I will keep it under cover, hidden from the light of day. Writing that expresses the authenticity of being, indeed: but when that being is weak and full of fear, how can that writing be exposed?

A flower in the desert, blooming unseen? An exposé of that which is better kept unexposed? I think of the multiplicity of ghosts best kept safe, old bones in Mother Hubbard’s Cupboard.

‘He who fights and runs away, lives to fight another day.’ My grandfather explained to me that this was how he had survived the trenches in WWI. His medals in the cupboard upstairs, his oak leaves for bravery, belie the stories he spun when I was a child.

Yet today, this Thursday, discretion is the better part of valor. I am the guardian of my family’s secrets. Some of them will be kept. Many of them must be kept. That is my thought (and my decision) for today.

5 thoughts on “Thursday Thoughts: Secrets

  1. I have never been able to keep a journal although I’ve started on several occasions. I think it must be freeing to write your personal thoughts down and share them with yourself that way. I should try again. There are plenty of things I could unburden myself in a journal.

    Liked by 1 person

    • This was more of a confessional short story than a journal entry. I was shocked by it, as I told Tanya (above). It just poured out! I have kept a journal since 1985. Regularly. Some 120 volumes at 300 pages each about now. A treasure trove. I am thinking of burning it but the university library says it wants it for the provincial archives. There’s some good scandalous stuff in there …

      Liked by 1 person

      • Aha! that is wonderful! I have written some stories that come perilously close to personal life, but only someone in my real life would guess. And we all know how that works out…. 😱

        Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, Tanya. I was shocked by what poured out. I feel the need to share it, but I don’t feel I am ready yet. It’s a funny feeling. The cupboard certainly isn’t bare, not by any mans, and boy, do those skeletons rattle. There’s always next Thursday … now that’s a thought!

      Liked by 1 person

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