
Kingsbrae 18.1
18 June 2017
Sandman 3
The sandman brings sand
to put in the sandwiches
we have packed for the beach.
It’s as coarse and fierce as salt
flowing through an hourglass,
or red sand in an egg-timer,
not clockwork and wound,
but the sort you turn upside
down. Sand: it counts each
minute of each day, turns
minutes into hours, hours
into days, sands the stone
block of our lives, like a sculptor,
into smaller, more manageable
shapes and chunks. Sand sticks
to our clothes, makes us wash
our hands and brush ourselves
thoroughly before we sit down
to eat the sand that has sneaked
into the lunch-time sandwiches
we brought to nibble on the sands.
Sand in the sandwiches:
grit in the machine.
Sand in the sand glass:
measuring our lives.
Sand on a childhood beach:
timeless.
Comment: My thanks to Dwight Roth, a fellow poet, for sowing the seed that grew into that last stanza. It’s funny how art can grow. A suggestion from a friend, a chance encounter, a moment of madness. As artists, we must keep our minds open for these moments when the small universe of the poem turns and changes, pivoting sometimes on a single thought or a seemingly careless word. A careless word: that is sometimes how and why the greatest books are written: “En un lugar de la Mancha, de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme …”
Regarding your thoughts at the end of the poem: I have found that when I respond to someone’s great work, that the response in turn becomes a line which is sometimes will stash away and later develop a poem from. In this case I was happy to pass it on for you to use as you wished. Keep up the good work.
Dwight
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Interesting. I have found the same thing … thoughts inspire thoughts and metaphors build on each other. Thanks!!!
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I like this version. The last stanza works very well! I am glad to have been the inspiration for that. Thanks for the shout out to my blog as well! Keep up the good work!
Dwight
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I revised it and tightened it a bit more. Still working and thinking. We’ll get there one day!
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Don’t overthink a good thing!!
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That’s a very good point. I am trying to simplify rather than complicate. It’s the over-complication that does the real damage.
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I like the repetition in this one … words and phrases …
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Thanks, Jane, doing my best … and all still going well. Home soon …I am ready to travel. Best wishes.
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