
What details of your life could you pay more attention to?
I will be eighty next birthday. Sadly, I am aware that my life is moving slowly towards its endgame. The major pieces have left the chessboard and I, the King, shuffle forward, a step at a time, then one to the side, and sometimes one back, as my two faithful pawns age with me. The end is never far away at this stage of the game. One slip, one misjudgment, and it’s checkmate, mate. So – how to respond to today’s prompt?
Quite simply, I am now paying more attention to my death than to my life. I have already updated my will, and I have given power of attorney to a person I trust. I have spoken with my financial adviser, and he has given me a Will Companion. It contains a whole series of details to fill in – bank accounts, passwords, online contacts, clubs, societies, social media, precious objects, and, last of all, a page of funeral instructions. That was an eye-opener – everything from funeral home, instructions for service, cremation of burial, plot number or scattering, church, financial arrangements – well, I didn’t panic, but wow, it made me feel very uncomfortable.
In the first 24 hours after my death, someone will have to make between 40 and 70 decisions, all impacting the manner of my departure. If I want things done the way I want, versus the way they might happen, and if I want to choose burial vs cremation, order of service, hymns, obituary, family friends, acknowledgements, then – according to those who know – I should be doing it now. So, big decision, I went online and studied the recommendations of my local funeral home.
I have already filled in several online pages of forms and I have asked them to contact me, which they will do soon. Then we will talk over all those details that I so desperately want to avoid. But death is inevitable. To face it and accept it and to prepare for it while I am still alive is the bravest and the best and the most sensible thing I can do. So, here I go, paying attention, while still alive, to the little details that will surround my death.
The inevitable? Yes. Above, in the opening photo, you can see a Mexican Death Mask. The small pearl at the centre is the seed from which the baby will grow. The seed is the round spot beneath youthful beauty’s nose. then comes wrinkled old age, and wrapped around is the white skull, the final beauty, which I will never see, but others may. Writing these words, I do not feel sad or gloomy. I have lived in Oaxaca, Mexico, and know the powerful, loving emotions that surround the Day of the Dead. I feel grateful that I have good friends to advise me and to stand by me and my family. And when, not if, the inevitable happens, I will have done my best to be prepared. Pax amorque.
This is a lot to think about, and I like that you are doing all you can to prepare. I hope I’m not that close to my last days, but my mom is, and I am trying to navigate all this stuff for her since the fog took her mind too early, it’s not fun.
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I am sorry to hear about your mum, Tiffany. I just hope all goes well for all of my friends and their families as we approach the inevitable end. Blessings.
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Your poetry and stories help me to see things from her point of view, it really is insightful for me. I wish you all the best days my friend.
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Roger, funny my hubby&I were just discussing the circumstances if we were to drop dead this minute? We’re booth far north of 70 and death does not frighten us. BUT, the after affairs very much do.. I like your pragmatical plans. We already did that too; See we both are intrepid, rambunctious hikers and climbers. So it can happen anytime for us. Check out my Amazon Book (author Dee Tezelli) titled: Picketpost Mountain Affair. At my age the climber on the cover is me. My hiking buddy is dangling below me&take pix. Follow my blog for more adventures for old folks.
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I’ll check you out, most certainly. I’ll follow your blog too. There comes a moment when the ‘golden oldies’ must stick together. Thanks for visiting and for commenting.
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Lovely photos on your blog. Nice doggy too. All best wishes.
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Deep post. Kind of scary to think that one day, your mindset on life and death switches. Thank you for sharing.
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Thank you, Gerome. I have been a follower of Stoicism and Neo-Stoicism for some time. That makes it so much easier to make these, and similar, decisions.
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The post resonated with my thoughts.
Very touching.
That is how life is and has to be.
Thank you.
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Thank you for telling me this and also for your visit. Writing today’s prompt, as well as taking the action I have taken, has certainly cleared my mind.
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👍👍👍
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