Really?
Wednesday Workshop
19 July 2017
“Steevie K says adverbs are out. You shouldn’t use anything ending in -ly.”
“Really?”
“No. -ly words are banned. They’re as bad as Anglo-Saxon four letter words.”
“That’s folly, surely?”
“No. It’s an absolute from the best of all writers. You do agree, don’t you?”
“Oh, absolutely, in a sort of writerly fashion. I’ll leave all my -ly words on the trolley.”
“Are you being facetious?”
“Absolutely not. Clearly, Steevie K obviously has a point. Totally too many -ly words in use. Well, usually, anyway.”
“What’s more he says that people in general and writers in particular should avoid adverbs.”
“Funnily enough, I actually feel the same way, relatively speaking, particularly nowadays.”
“But you use them all the time.”
“Only in July, when there are comparatively few alternatives.”
“You know, Steevie K counts the number of times people use the -ly word.”
“Surely not? But then, he must truly be thoroughly committed to the extermination of …”
“… words ending in -ly. Of course he is.”
“I bet he lovingly caresses his dictionary as he peruses the -ly section while scratching his belly.”
“There is no -ly section.”
“You are lying, surely?”
“No. Anyway, that’s ly-, not -ly, and ly- is not a letter , it’s a combination of letters. Do you understand?”
“Truly I do. I get on swimmingly with this. All of it, actually.”
“All of it?”
“Totally. I always wondered why they said ‘jello’ not ‘jelly’.”
“Who?”
“Those with the smelly yellow-belly, of course.”
“I’ll report you to the Steevie K thought-police.”
“Surely you wouldn’t do that, not really, that’s not particularly nice?
“Really and truly.”
“Verily, I say unto you: ‘Oh shut up, you falsely bloated, heavily spotted yellow-bellied sapsucker’ …”
rogermoorepoet 
Love it! And please tell me no one counts adverbs? Furiously policing the painfully, carefully chosen words of other writerly folk would truly be a terribly dry, dismally dreary carry on… 😁
LikeLiked by 1 person
Alas, it really is true. People do count them. And reject you for using them. It’s a less onerous task than actually reading a piece. I believe it was the Pseudo-Socrates who said “Get a life!”
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s all about the balance. No need for people in the world who p1ss on the writing efforts of others.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is really superbly hilarious Roger!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you verily muchly, Janicely. Rogerly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
:)))
LikeLike
Funnily enoughly.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Good one. It’s the sort of comment the Lions might have made. It sounded like a good (but brutal) series.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Your post was funny
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wonderfully written really.. ..oh no using d adverb -ly;in real,dear roger,how much u r funny.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Aruna. I think the overuse of anything, adverbs included, can be annoying, unless it occurs for a purpose (humor, for example). hat said, adverbs, while they might be effective when used wisely, can become crutches on which weak writing leans too heavily. Moderation in all things …that’s the way to go.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yeah.dear roger!!u r right n i think as u said.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Roger, I really appreciate the humor in this piece, well done! ~ Mia
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Mia. I really enjoyed writing it. I will do some more rants. I like writing them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re welcome, Roger. Looking forward to reading them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This was fun! Thank you for sharing, Roger!
LikeLiked by 1 person
We can’ always be serious … we need a little nonsense sometimes … we really and truly do, actually … honestly!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Re: Adverbs…i strongly feel you’ve targetted me! I’ve often quoted King that the road to hell is paved with adverbs. I akso feel that an adverb is often used when i’m too lazy to find the absolute right phrase! I continue to behave as if the adverb is an exotic fruit, to be plucked when necessary, but not over-exploited. Nice one! Chuck
LikeLiked by 1 person
If I’ve targeted anyone, it’s myself, Chuck. I have just removed 11 adverbs in -ly from one of my Bistro stores (400 words). I did enjoy writing this, though. Great fun. I think we should target one character who always uses the wrong form!
LikeLike