Waiting
I remember pushing
my father around the ward.
“Cancer,” they said.
“But it’s kinder
not to let him know.”
In those days,
it was better to die
without knowing why.
Did I betray him
by not telling him
what I knew?
Two weeks we had,
together.
He sat in his wheel chair
and I wheeled him
up and down.
I lifted him
onto the toilet,
he strained and strained
but couldn’t go.
“Son,”
he said, sitting there.
“Will you rub my back?’
How could I say no?
That strong man,
the man who had carried me
on his back,
and me standing there,
watching him,
his trousers around his knees,
straining,
hopelessly
…
and me
rubbing his back,
waiting
…
for him to go.
rogermoorepoet 
Oh.what is saddy n tragic feeling in your love for father.nice tribution.
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It was indeed a sad time. My dad was a good man and I miss him very much.
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Indeed.but we are unable towards God’s will.it is eternal truth-love n aparting.mayGod give peace his soul.
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Thank you. They were tough times. Very unforgettable. Yet they contained their own blessing. A privilege to see you here.
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I feel this down to my bones. I had my father with me to care for him at the end of his life. When he finally had to go to nursing care, it was only because it was no longer safe for him to be home. Your father is your first hero. For sons and for daughters.
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My first hero, indeed. We had the Atlantic ocean between us and saw far too little of each other. When I look back on boarding school, holidays abroad, university, and emigration, I realize I hardy knew my parents. There are large dark patches in my life when they only exist as unseen voices at the end of a telephone line.
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Familial relationships can be so complicated. I might have done better with my mother with more distance between us. but then perhaps I’d be looking back wondering if the opposite would have been better. Where we are now may very well be inevitable.
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Let fate decide … I gave up the struggle long ago. I just drift … it’s so much easier …
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I am trying to just roll with it myself. It really is simpler that way.
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Takes me right back to my dad, Roger. He knew though. The last weekend I was with him, he asked me to rub ointment on his back to help relieve the pain. He was like a skeleton with huge tumor lumps under his skin…
Hard memories. Yet love lives on…
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“Though lovers be lost, love shall not, and Death shall have no Dominion.” Dylan Thomas … and the title of one of my books. They are such tough times when those upon whom we depended now depend on us and we are suddenly so weak.
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I love that quote…one of my favorites also.
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Did I send you that book? If not, I’ll mail one down.
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No, that wasn’t one that I got. I’m waiting on my package to you, because I want to send you copies of the two books I’m getting ready for print now. But I would love to read that book also…
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I think it’s one of my best. I’ll have a copy in the mail to you asap. I look forward to receiving books from you … thanks for being here with me, Tanya. I very much appreciate your presence and support.
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As I do yours, Roger. I’ll look forward to reading it!
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